He disabled his match.com account in front of me
there was a trapeze. enough said
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
