I will die if light touches me.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
i out mim tonsoeep
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