Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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