I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
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