just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize