Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
