I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
