the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Houston, we have a blender
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
