hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
you never un-have a 4some
Randomize
