I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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