Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
