airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize