you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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