just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
