what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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