then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
