you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
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