I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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