Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
