He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
