yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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