dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
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