Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
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