my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
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