I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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