Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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