I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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