if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
i now understand why vodka
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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