i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
the day after is always just damage control
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
