he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
