its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
