The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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