i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
