I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
My balls are so social today.
so let's talk penis.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Randomize
