D3 body, D1 cock
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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