I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
