New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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