Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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