Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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