She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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