i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
he was CRYING into my vagina
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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