She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
