Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
