For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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