You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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