WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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