he wants to bone in the snuggie
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize
