We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
