yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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