I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
