Who did Billy Mays play for?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
