Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
