dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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