I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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