did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
