its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Sober January is a disaster.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
