im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
