Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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