I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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