they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
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