Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
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