i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
My Sexting was not on an AP level
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