nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
