Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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