as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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