Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
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