i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
