theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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