Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
