I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
